If She Has These 14 Qualities, You Should Never Let Her Go
People in long term relationship sometimes get to the point when they ask themselves do they really want to spend their entire life with the person they’re with, or is him/her the person I have by my side really the one, and those questions have a great and heavy value upon our living.
Researchers all over the world have spent thousands of hours trying to find out what’s really in fact keeping the relationship, what breaks them, what nourishes them, and also finding out the traits that people have and their trait compatibility.
We have made a very interesting compilation of the study results. These are some 14 traits that were most potent for a good relationship, and if your woman has them, you should settle down for her. She’s a true catch.
1. She Is Smarter Than You
Accept it or not, the facts are straight and clear- you need a smart woman in your life, much better if she’s smarter than you. Intelligent and wise women will keep your mental faculties keen forever, and will keep you save from dementia. Lawrence Whalley, professor emeritus of the University of Aberdeen has made tons of researches for dementia and he found out that a smart woman will protect you from dementia later in life.
His advice: “The thing a boy is never told he needs to do if he wants to live a longer life — but what he should do — is marry an intelligent woman. There is no better buffer than intelligence.”
2. She Is Honest
Everyone makes bad decisions and mistakes in their lives. A person who can point it out and tell you where you’re wrong will keep you on the ground with being more rational next time. Being honest and true when something’s off is a blessing for a long term relationship, and studies also shown that men seek honesty in women they’re with. If your woman is true and honest to you, don’t let her go.
3. She Has A Positive Outlook
Is your girlfriend a type of person who always looks at the glass half full? The grass is greener on your own side, or just has a positive mentality about the situations in life? You should be happy. Because, let’s state this: Negative people are toxic people. Who wants toxic people? Certainly not you.
We tend to take more negativity by the people we’re surrounded with and with taking that negativity we create a toxic environment for us. This was shown in a research paper by the psychologist Elaine Hatfield. And this internalized negativity can lead to increased heart rate, it impedes our digestion and lowers our concentration. Having a positive and clear, centered mind will keep you relaxed and Zen, and if that’s your girl, congratulations.
4. She Compromises
Things cannot go always smoothly. When both of the partners disagree, one thing leads to another and a compromise must be made. And the relationship will work if one of the partners are willing to make a compromise.
Psychologists of the UCLA have accompanied 172 married couples for 11 years and came to a simple conclusion: “It’s easy to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well,” said senior study author Thomas Bradbury.”As a relationship changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving forward.”
The scientist say that those who are willing to take the steps and make a sacrifice will have a long, healthy and happy relationship.
5. She Laughs At Your Jokes
Even if your joke was a total flop, she’ll laugh and make a better joke herself to keep the smiles on your faces. She thinks you’re funny and you make her smile, and that’s both making you happy. In 2006 a study by psychologists of Westfield State University suggested that having a partner who thinks they are funny is more important for men than for women. If you found a woman that you could both laugh when being together, you’re on a good side.
6. She Has An Open Heart
Having a partner who shines in the public spotlight, talks to your friends, jokes freely, doesn’t avoid communication and gets respected back, can be a really out of help in your lives.
A study by the University of Westminster suggest that people who are more open hearted and love to communicate are seen as attractive and will attract likeminded people more. The authors of the study even say that this quality is so important that people will judge the physical appearance of open hearted people as more handsome or beautiful. Simplified, she will be accepted and liked by the people you’re communicating with, and will easily make new communications and will add more into your life.
7. She Supports Your Goals And Pursues Her Own
For a long time scientists tried to prove that men tend to want a weak woman in their relationships. Christine C. Whelan opens up this question in her book “Why smart men marry smart women”, and states that it’s not true, she proves it with statistics and debunks myths into a success, with the finish line that well educated woman and those with high earning (or both) will marry as just as much as the ones who depend on their husband.
Having in mind that a strong, well educated woman that knows how to live without you will motivate you and won’t depend on you. You don’t need to worry about her all the time because she can do things on her own too.
A woman who didn’t pursue her goals in life, or has no stable career (this can’t be always her fault) and simplified, who depends on you will motivate you less.
8. She Has A Good Relationship With Her Parents
If you want to know what your partner will be like in the next 30 years, look at their parents. If you want to know how your partner will treat you in the next 30 years, observe how she/he treats his/her own parents.
Researchers of the University of Alberta questioned 2970 people of all ages and saw a clear correlation between the relationship to the parents in their teen years and their love life later on.
This doesn’t mean that the relationship with the parents must always be perfect. A healthy relationship and utter respect for the parents is a strong signal that the respect will continue into your lives together. Showing love, kindness and feeling it is a good sign that the partner will also have those feelings and nice manners when you’ll spend your time together.
9. She Is Kind
The keys to a long and happy relationship are kindness and generosity. Psychologist John Gottmann of the University of Washington started his research on married couples over four decades ago. He identified two kinds of couples: Masters and Disasters. The disasters break it off in the first six years of the relationship. But the masters stay together for a long time and have this one thing in common: “They are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully,” he said in an interview with the “Atlantic”.
So being kind and showing kindness will eventually keep you off of making fast decisions that you both might regret later. Observing the relationship and the partner and be thankful for what you’ve got is a thing that will keep you nourished together.
10. She Remains Calm In Fights And Calms You Down Too
We are used to see women fight louder and creating a drama out of the heated situation, from everyday lives, to people on the street, the close ones, us, and mainly the TV shows. It’s like committing ourselves that it’s natural for women to make drama and just accept the fact that woman can’t be calm and understanding when a problem is before both of you.
Having a woman that is toned down, rational, trying to calm herself and calm you will cool you down, make you look more rational and erase the tension away. When there’s no tension, you can both act right and peacefully, and that’s what’s needed in a serious relationship.
11. She Does Foolish Things With You
Does your woman want to have party with you? Drink with you, get on the top of the mountain and scream with you? Well, here’s a good thing.
A long term study of the University of Michigan with 4864 married individuals showed that the happiest couples where those who drank alcohol together. Of course this doesn’t mean that alcoholics are happier partners. “It could be that couples that do more leisure time activities together have better marital quality,” says Kira Birditt, author of the study.
12. She Has A Life Of Her Own
Again, she doesn’t depend on you or your calls after work or on pauses. She has her friends to hang out with, activities that make her happy, active life itself. This is good for both of your relationship and your sex life.
This has been shown by a long term study of the University of Michigan. “When individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests, when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or relationship, that makes them happier and less bored,” Terry Orbuch, author of the study, said in an interview with the “Wall Street Journal”.
13. She Accepts Your Flaws
No one is perfect. That’s maybe what makes us perfect in a sort of way, being who we are and how unique we are to the world. She fell in love with you because you are you and nobody else, and you also come with insecurities, bad habits and so on, and so does she. If the partner is aware of this, you should consider yourself lucky. “An optimistic approach will rub off on you and attract you to others who are seeing the world as half full,” psychologist Terry Orbuch said in her column for the “Huffington Post”.
14. She Doesn’t Bear Grudges
If you found a woman who can forgive others, you will have her by your side for a long time. A study by researchers of the Luther College, the Duke University, and the Harvard Divinity School showed that people who can unconditionally forgive others live longer lives.
Forgiveness is the foundation of a healthy relationship and healthy wellbeing. The person who learned how to forgive will let go off the negativity in his own life, and will break the cycle of tension away. We all know that we’re not perfect. Sometimes understanding the situation will lead into a more healing state than just hold grudges and let it sink with a bad emotion.
Forgiveness is a tough thing to master, but it’s crucial and much needed, if you girl has this, don’t let her go and most importantly, don’t take her for granted. Forgiving is a precious gift that a person can give, and it’s certainly not something to toy with. Be respectful and be kind. She is the one.
Source: Business Insider