5 Reasons Why You Are the Villain in Your Relationship

Try this. Ask your best friend if you have ever gone on a long rant about how everything in life sucks and how you were always wronged in all of your relationships (making it a point to point out such a huge number); ask them if you ever told/ranted to them how every better half over the years had wronged you.

If you did, chances are you would not need to even ask them. You know just what we mean here.

It’s pretty common for people to blame their exes after their relationships go sour and end for all the problems in it. It is also quite common for people to stop valuing their better halves even before it ends. People simply become too numb or worse, too used to being in a relationship. They simply end up treating their partners the way they wish to never be treated themselves.

This is when it becomes obvious: you have become what you dread; someone who is the problem in the relationship.

If you still cannot accept it, try reading on. Here are five signs that prove you are the problem in the relationship and not the other way around.

1. Zoning out

I like to call this “ghosting-on-the-face”. This is when you purposefully avoid topics that are essentially uncomfortable but important, during conversations. You make excuses and in really desperate cases, pretend you did not hear them speaking and/or walk out of the house pretending to be busy. This is particularly common among people who have a phobia of commitment. The worst and most annoying of cases are when you just focus on the screen in front of you, instead of heeding the words of the person talking to you; that is just insulting.

2. Trying to remould them

This is a marker of how little you are ready to invest in this relationship. You would rather have them lose their essence and personality and become someone more suited to your whims, fancies and kinks, than meeting them half-way on the journey called life. Do not be surprised if they start re-evaluating your value in their lives, especially, if the outcome is not exactly pleasant for you, if you indulge in tendencies like this.

3. Rage

They are not there to take your anger and rage and frustration and keep loving you “for what you are”. No one should be expected to do that. Try to control your rage/channel it onto something else if you value your relationship. They do not deserve it.

4. Wrong priorities

There are flings that focus on sex and bodily pleasures, and there are relationships that focus on the union of two individuals who are in love. Do not mix up the two. Sex is great (just like the meme says), but it has not exclusive monopoly in a relationship. A relationship is about a lot of things besides sex.

5. Not planning a future together

If you do not have the same plans for the future, are you even in love?

If you relate to these, take some time and find a solution to these conflicts. You wouldn’t want to be your ex to someone else.