11 Reasons why Relationships Fail and How to Prevent that From Happening

It is one thing to ‘fall in love’ and another thing to ‘be in a relationship’. The first ‘just happens’, but sustaining a healthy relationship is something that must be ‘actively done’. Devastating breakups are common experiences and we almost inevitably blame our significant other for this. However, it is not always our or anybody else’s fault as such. Sometimes relationships don’t work out because of how we approach them.

Here are 11 common reasons for a failed relationship which we usually tend to undermine:

1. “My happiness is only secondary”

It is very common to prioritize our partner’s happiness over our own to an extent where it affects our self-esteem. In the long run, this becomes an unbearable burden and takes its toll on the relationship itself.

2. Constant need for validation

To make a relationship work, we need to be content with who we are. If a relationship is a constant validation for our existence, it’s not meant to last. Not having a self-identity and having complete reliance on our partners cramps a relationship for space and breaks it eventually.

3. Trust issues

Lack of self-identity also means that we perpetually need our partner’s acceptance, failing which, we tend to feel insecure. Insecurity inevitably leads to jealousy and the consequent negativity is fatal to any relationship.

4. It takes two to make one!

If all the energy and effort is put in by one person, they may be taken for granted and also look desperate. Each of the two must cover some ground to make a ‘good’ relationship.

5. Inadequate conversations

It is absolutely necessary to communicate with one another to make a relationship work. Inadequate exchange of thoughts, desires, and concerns harms and eventually fails a relationship.

6. People around us

How people around us respond to our relationship affects our approach to it in many ways. If supported, we work hard towards a relationship and if not we withdraw ourselves from investing in it.

7. Weight of the past

We often allow our past to weigh down upon our present relationships by not learning from our past mistakes and by not accepting the past as past.

8. Lack of common interests

It may be true that ‘opposites attract’ but not having any shared interests can eventually destroy this attraction as well as the relationship based on it.

9. Opposing priorities

‘True love’ is not enough to sustain a relationship if those two people want completely different things from life.

10. Replacing love by love

If we use a relationship to ‘get over’ another, it is mostly bound to fail once this purpose is achieved. Don’t you think this is a vicious circle?

11. Physical attraction and nothing else

A relationship based only on physical attraction and no real substance would eventually fade away, as would the outer beauty.

If a relationship fails even after being conscious of these factors, maybe it just wasn’t meant to work out anyway. After all, we simply cannot control everything!