4 Long-Lasting Consequences of Being Raised by a Narcissist
When we are kids, we need to be told what we should do because we do not know better but after a point, all of us develop a thought process and thoughts of our own- we need space and a safe space to express our opinions and talk about experiences without them being invalidated. It is not a lot to ask for but when you are born to a narcissist, these things are basically impossible.
This has a great effect on our emotional well being and growth and can cause serious issues in our lives later.
If you know someone who has the following habits, be rest assured that their parent(s) was a/were narcissist(s).
No self confidence
Growing up around a narcissist means being constantly told that you are not good enough- that you cannot do anything right, this leads to a person having close to zero confidence as they grow up because these things shape an individual. They try their best to do things and in this bid they forget to take care of themselves completely. They let other people walk over them and do not think their feelings and emotions matter even a little.
Being a pushover
When you have parents who treat you like they are doing you a favour by raising you, there is barely an opportunity for an individual to grow a sense of self importance. When this happens, when they are uncomfortable or say they do not agree with something, they do not raise a question because they think that they do not matter enough or that they would be asking for too much. Basic decency feels like a gift to them and they settle for whatever is thrown their way. They are always scared to ask for things for themselves because there is always a fear of “too much” in their minds.
Insecurity is probably one of the most damning effects of having a narcissist parent because this stuff almost never leaves you alone. You are left questioning yourself for as long as you live. You tell yourself that you do not deserve nice things in life and that you are a burden for everyone. Being insecure also leads to severe abandonment issues and this in turn leads to leading with all the toxicity because you are constantly scared of people leaving you- since you think that no one else will ever come into your life if one person leaves. This brings me to the last point, which is:
Choosing the wrong people
Paul Rudd, in The Perks of Being a Wallflower says that we accept the love we think we deserve and nothing could be truer. When you grow up in a toxic environment with your guardians being narcissists, you subconsciously start believing that you deserve pain and hurt. This leads to you pushing away people that truly care for you and keeping people who are toxic and selfish in your life.
If you related to these points, let me take a moment to tell you that you deserve love, happiness and emotional validation. You were told lies. Please seek help, you will be alright.