5 Tips That Strengthen Love & Intimacy In Relationships
Truth to be told: relationships aren’t easy. Loving someone from afar and living with the person are two different things. Intimacy can start to fade with time, mostly because couples stop paying attention. It requires a wholesome understanding of the self as well as the partner to be happy in a relationship.
This however doesn’t mean you’ll magically stop fighting or all your insecurities will vanish, it simply means you both will become more comfortable in your own skin. You both will have the understanding to strike a balance. You will become evolved human beings who can handle minor setbacks of a relationship like fighting, lack of communication, crippling anxiety and doubts.
You first need to know yourself inside out. Your strength and your weaknesses can determine the success of your relationship. It is important to be aware of the toxic traits you or your partner might have and work towards solving it. These five things will improve your equation with your soul and your better half for sure:
1. Pause And Ponder
Most of us listen to reply but not to understand and reflect. It happens to all of us because we live a fast paced life where people have retaining capacity shorter than Instagram story time and attention span of a few minutes.
It won’t hurt you to think before you end up saying something totally uncalled for. Take your time with responses, tell your partner you want to talk about it the next day, ask yourself if you are rushing with a decision. Intense conversations when they go right can give you a high but can scar you if they go wrong. In the heat of the moment people often say things they don’t mean which can ruin the relationship. So please take it slow and put more thought into it.
2. Magic Of Meditation
Meditating can reconfigure your neural programming, thereby calming your limbic system that affects your behaviour. You will find yourself engaging with your soul, thinking deeply and being in control. This will reflect in your relationship if there’s consistency.
3. Goal Gazing
You can’t roam about like a lost puppy if you want to reach somewhere. Know what is your goal, both your individual and as a couple. Prioritise things and stick to them, talk to your partner about it. You need to visualise your life with your partner ahead of time and work towards attaining it. There can be no happiness without hardwork.
4. Keep A Diary
Keeping a journal helps you reflect on things and increases your awareness. You can figure out your triggers and work on them. You know exactly how something affected you, how you can change it and avoid being in that position the next time. It also stops you from taking impulsive decisions.
5. Transference
According to Wikipedia, “Transference is a theoretical phenomenon characterized by unconscious redirection of the feelings a person has about a second person to feelings the first person has about a third person. It usually concerns feelings from an important second-person relationship from childhood, and is sometimes considered inappropriate.”
We are products of our experiences and our milieu. There are things that we do unconsciously that can affect our relationships. Suppose you react terribly to a not-so-important situation, on second thoughts you discover it reminded you of someone in particular and that’s why you reacted. We all have emotional baggages and need time to heal.
We can’t project it on our partners because it’s unhealthy. Seek professional help if you must but reconcile with your past. You need to be in the present, focus on yourself and create healthy habits that will help you go through life with ease. Detect that you are engaging in the act of transference and stop.
Do these things consciously and see how it makes you a positive individual. If you and your partner are in control of your lives, life as a couple becomes thousand times easier. It’s okay to mess up, but it’s important to make up for it.