3 Steps to Reconnect When You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner

How do you bring romance back in your relationship? You can always buy her something she’s been wanting for a while. But that would just be taking the easy way out and it is not going to make her feel very romantic. Society and ads have taught us that we can get love by spending money but this is not the truth.

True love is found in the hustle and bustle of day to day living. It is there in the way we approach the small moments, be it having a nice conversation over food or just watching TV together in quiet enjoyment or even the smallest of touches you give and take when you are near each other.

You never know when your partner will reach out to you for love and comfort in the smallest of ways. The true test of romance is whether you are ready to give them what they need at that moment. It can be something as simple as your partner asking you whether there is bread at home when you’re at the grocery start. There’s a huge difference between just dismissing the question and saying you’ll get some bread anyway.

Investing your emotions

Whenever your partner reaches out to you and you move closer to them, you are investing in your Emotional Bank Account. This is a concept that Dr. John Gottman came up with. Whenever you truly connect, you are storing up love that you can bring out when things aren’t easy.

If you aren’t feeling the romance you used to feel, you can bring it back by following these three techniques that will help you increase the amount in your Emotional Bank Account.

1. Don’t reject an offer to connect

According to Dr. Gottman, partners tend to dismiss each other out of sheer thoughtlessness and not because they mean any harm. We need to start out by realizing how important the little things are in a relationship. Just working with each other to keep your life functioning harmoniously can work wonders.

There are times when we don’t recognize a please because the person brings it up negatively. One partner might ask the other whether they ever think about folding up the laundry. The latter might not hear the plea that is masked in this critical statement. But rather than snapping back, it would help both of them if that person simply apologized for their mistake and folded up the laundry.

2. Learn what is going in with your partner

People often assume that they know all that is going on with their significant others. But they actually don’t because they never ask and instead they take knowledge about their partner for granted.  It is important that both parties talk to each other about their dreams and anxieties, their ambitions, their fears and just about everything. They should invite answers from each other and never assume that they know everything that there is to know.

3. Be appreciative and respectful

None of us are perfect. It is human nature to err and there is nothing we can do about that. But rather than concentrating on the flaws of the people we love, we should accept them as they are. Let them know that you appreciate all the little things they do for you. By doing this, you will both feel more connected to each other.