6 Surprising Reasons You Are Attracting The Wrong People
The present generation has transformed the concept of dating, from just a routine interaction between two people who like each other, to a complex web of social media, and public displays of affection. While that may be “cool” or “hip”, it also leads to attracting all the wrong sorts of people. Now when it is said to be “wrong”, it doesn’t always necessarily mean people who are serial killers or rapists. It means people, who are just not right for you.
Why do these occur, though? After all, one can’t imagine putting up a persona that would attract or cater to a different ideology than you yourself believe in, but that is exactly the case. Due to the changing platform of love, as we see it, through social media, and obviously through Hollywood, our view of the concept of love has changed. The nature of love is such that one tends to change themselves in order to be appreciated by others. When that happens, we find ourselves hopelessly alone, and hopeless.
Even if there are countless reasons why we keep attracting wrong people, the reasons can be grouped under these.
1. A Facade on the Net
Catfishing. This terms has gained prominence throughout the dating circuit, especially on sites like Tinder, Ok Cupid, or Jaumo, where people deceive others on the net, by putting up a personality that is not themselves. This results in people trying to match with other people that they have portrayed themselves as, but aren’t in real life. So when the time comes to bring the relationship from an online, cyber space, to real time environment, we find ourselves dejected at the person we are with, never for once blaming ourselves for the person we have portrayed ourselves as.
2. Don’t Count Your Eggs Before They Have Hatched
Humans as a rule tend to over complicate even the simplest of stuff. And when it is about something as serious as dating, it goes off the charts. We tend to imagine scenarios, and situations when we would be interacting with our prospective partners, only to find them getting destroyed in real life. We keep up expectations of situations that isn’t foreseen, and that results in us losing hope, and being alone.
Hannah Gadsby, in her recent comedy special Nanette talks about how self deprecation isn’t humility; its humiliation. When you are interested in someone, and you want them to be interested in you, you need to be positive and confident about yourself. Trying to demean yourself doesn’t show your humble nature. Rather, it enforces the fact that you are a sympathy whore. That isn’t at all attractive, and hence, leads to interaction with people like your facade, leading to depression, and isolation.
It’s important to look for perfection in a relationship, and to see whether they fit you like a glove or not. But, when you are just looking for that one special person, you need to realize, that there is nothing called a special person. Everyone is special in their own right, and on account of searching for your soul mate, you are giving up on several people that could potentially make you a lot happier, and you wouldn’t be single anymore.
5. Got More Issues Than Vogue
It’s more than just a t-shirt. It means you have unaddressed issues, and you don’t want to deal with them. This shows both a negative, and a reckless attitude towards life. This might seem adventurous to you, but to the other person, it is dangerous. Why would someone willingly want to be with someone who has “baggage” for lack of a better word. Address the elephant in the room, please.
6. Emotionally Stunted: That is What You’re Looking For
The Victorian period has resulted in our ideals for a perfect person to be broody, dark and mysterious. The perfect Byronic person. The thing is, someone who is emotionally stunted might not be tensed at different situations, but you do need to realize that this person is also unable to deal with situations that would require a calm and sensible, mature mind. They aren’t mature and they tend to show that at every opportunity. But that’s your type, and hence you are single.
No one likes being single. So change your perception, and attract the right person.