What Happens When You Are Raised By A Toxic Mother

Toxicity in any relationship is harmful, especially if it is that of a mother and her child. This affects the child negatively and does not help him/her grow in a healthy manner. If a child faces such circumstances, it is sure to haunt him throughout his life. You can realize that the relationship your mother isn’t something healthy and good, when you come across these phases.

You do not feel good about your mother

You can never possess good feelings for your mother if she maltreats you or doesn’t care about you. You are filled with anger and rage against her and this is also because you fear her. You feel suffocated while being with your mother. You find it difficult to relate to how others share an amazing bond of love and friendship with their mothers. You want to experience similar feelings of love and positivity, but you are denied of it. You might even try to think that supposed you weren’t an easy child or probably she was busy in her own problems which made her this rude. However, these are merely excuses that you give yourself to keep away from reality.

You are either aggressive or submissive

You do not have a control over your anger. You tend to become aggressive whenever there is an argument. You take up a hostile form in order to show that you aren’t weak. You do not want to be hurt by anyone after you’ve been traumatized by your mother’s behavior. You can be easily provoked at the slightest of situations. Or else, you turn out to become intensively submissive. You accept every single thing without voicing your concerns. In both the cases, your reaction to situations, are due to your fear which makes you emotionally vulnerable.

Affection, for you is based on conditions

Your mothers have probably shown you little or no affection at all which has made you realize that love comes with a price. You are shown affection, only when you’ve pleased them. This makes you emotionless. You tend to believe the same and avoid being emotionally connected to someone. Eventually, you cannot handle love and affection because of the constant fear of it being snatched away. It becomes difficult for you to maintain romantic relationships.

You prefer a symbiotic relationship

You want to be in a relationship which has passivity as well as dominance. It is so because the dominant person feels loved when he/she feels wanted and the passive partner feels loved when he/she knows that there is someone to do things for them. In a mother child relationship of the same kind, the mother is the dominant character whereas the child becomes the passive character.

You criticize everything

If you’ve been subjected to constant criticism, punishment, since childhood for the tiniest of things, this tends to affect you negatively. We react to things in a way in which we had seen our parents, while growing up. You tend to judge not only yourself, but also others for the smallest of mistakes. Failure makes you question your self-worth. You are constantly in need of validation.