How To Deal With Passive Aggressive Person
Not showing your feelings of anger, even when you are mad at someone/something is a perfect example of passive aggression.
A person who is passive aggressive avoids direct confrontation whenever they are questioned about their true feelings. Sarcasm is their perfect tool. They may seem to be hostile towards you. If you think that you can change their attitude by behaving in a similar manner, you are mistaken. Such an action will only result in outrageous caustic comments instead of any steady solution. You need to observe the way they behave in order to realize that the person uses passive aggressiveness to avoid conversations. For this, there are a few things you should remember.
Passive aggressive behavior leads to a dysfunctional relationship, be it personal, or professional. A passively aggressive person is a liability for the relationship, or for the team, or for any collective he is a part of. They never express their true feelings, and somehow slow down the total productivity that comes with being a part of something. Their behavior leads to incessant fights and arguments, and after a while, no one wants to be with them.
Try to understand his actions
A passive aggressor doesn’t openly acknowledge his actions. They tend to take up a particular sarcastic tone while talking to others. Often, the way they act is not what they mean. They are always ready with excuses. They actually have a lot of anger and distaste filled in them. If you try to react in a similar manner, it might further ignite their anger.
It is better to handle the situation peacefully. Or, the best way would be to give them some time off, so that they could blow off some steam, and even if they never apologized to you, in their subconscious, they would feel guilty about it, and might actually try to be a better human.
Be considerate and make them feel comfortable
Do not try to make them uncomfortable by asking them about their thoughts, repeatedly. It annoys them and increases their reluctance to share things with you. If you really want to know what’s going on inside their minds, stay calm and talk to them openly. Ask them what they feel, whether they are okay with you or not.
Lead on the conversation, slowly and gradually. Bring in adjacent topics for them to enter into their comfort zone and you can talk about such heavy stuff when you know they are not going to blow up.
They might not want to share their feelings with you
At times, sharing what they actually feel, might make them feel embarrassed and self-conscious. Do not get sad or angry if they decline from sharing their thoughts with you. They are protective about their feelings. You simply need to make them understand that you know about their passive aggressiveness and there is no harm in talking about it.
However, forcing it out of them is not going to be helpful. It would make them go back to their shell, and then, every progress would be hampered, and you would be back to square one.
The trick is to realize that you, as someone who is generally a good conversation starter, might also not feel the need to share themselves at certain parts of the day, so why not let them have that freedom?